


Maximum Entropy

by Mthaytr



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Kittens, M/M, preslash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-05
Updated: 2016-11-05
Packaged: 2018-08-29 05:34:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8477260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mthaytr/pseuds/Mthaytr
Summary: Ed finds a kitten.  Roy suffers the consequences.





	

Just about the last thing Mustang had expected on this cold, rainy October night had been a knock at his door: he frowned, looking up from the Kirchner text on separating gaseous elements in which he’d been engaged for the past several hours. The fire had begun to bank low in the hearth, the light in the room dim, and Roy reached out to flick on a lamp before leaving the book on the coffee table and attending to his unexpected visitor.

He saw little in a quick check through the peephole; it took a moment or two of baffled frowning at the little halo of his front porch lights and the dark curtain of rain beyond for him to notice the very blonde, very _wet_ looking antenna sticking up from the bottom of the viewport.

Biting the inside of his cheek to keep the laughter inside, he opened the door to reveal exactly who he now expected on the other side — or, almost.

“Fullmetal,” he said, as the great oaken door swung wide. “How very — oh.” The Colonel’s eyebrows ascended as he took in the disheveled young man in front of him and the even-more-pathetic-looking bundle of fur tucked into the crook of his left arm.

Edward glared at him, which Roy knew better than to take personally. Sometimes he wondered if the boy knew how to interact with people in any other way.

“It’s fuckin’ cold out here,” he said, shoulders hunched, moving his other arm up as if to protect the little fuzzball contained within. Even though most of his all-black ensemble was soaked to dripping, Roy couldn’t help but note that the front of his chest, and his tiny prize, remained more or less dry, hinting at the lengths he had gone to to protect it. “You gonna let me in or you just gonna stand there like an idiot all day?”

“Forgive me my moment of astonishment,” Mustang returned, pointedly, as he stepped out of the way and gestured for his guest to enter. “I think most people would be surprised to find a tiny, bedraggled guest at their door at —” he glanced at the clock on the wall “— eight o’clock at night, in the middle of a downpour.” 

There was something oddly satisfying about the way the colonel could almost _see_ the water evaporating off of the boy’s body in the sudden, violent heat of his rage.

“WHO THE FUCK YOU CALLIN SO TINY —”

“Relax, Ed, I was talking about the kitten,” Roy said with a satisfied little smirk; Ed’s bristle didn’t abate, but the black expression smoothed back out into his regular scowl. 

“You motherfucking son of a bitch,” growled Ed, stepping into Roy’s entryway. Apparently the ‘kitten’ guess had been a good one, because no sooner had Roy closed the door behind the younger man than he heard a faint, shaky mew.

The noise cleared up all doubt as to the identity of his new houseguests: unfortunately, this also meant he had a fairly good idea of exactly what this late-night visit was about.

“So, what brings you here this… _fine_ evening,” he asked anyway, one eyebrow still arched gracefully as he turned to face Ed. The boy didn’t do the same for Mustang, however: instead, he took a few steps forward and carefully deposited the little bundle — which proved, within moments, to have legs — onto Roy’s couch, then clapped and pressed his hands to his own chest. This time, Mustang actually _did_ see steam rolling off the younger man’s body, although from a force more powerful even than his rage. 

Ed shivered once, like a dog, a vigorous tremor starting at his lower back and moving up to his shoulders, then turned back to face Roy.

“Jesus motherfucking Christ, it’s _cold_ out there,” he announced, before flopping back onto the couch and taking the newly-exploratory kitten into his lap, surrounded by Ed’s protective hands, where it wriggled to break free of its renewed bondage. Though the colonel was certainly no expert on kittens, even he could tell that this one looked too young to be away from its mother — although judging by its attempts to get free, if it could have spoken it probably would have vehemently denied such a suggestion. 

Eventually Ed gave in and gave the furball the run of his lap, using a flat hand to herd it back on when it ventured off, and Roy took this moment to claim use of his armchair.

“So it is,” Roy agreed: he pulled a glove from his pocket, and in moments the fire was blazing merrily again. “Another one of Alphonse’s rescues? Let me guess, you’ve come to ask me to take it in on his behalf.”

The creature was more or less bean-shaped, with a too-large head and short legs that made it look a bit like a dachshund, and the occasional wobble when it walked suggested that it hadn’t quite mastered the novelty of legs, despite the occasional attempt at a pounce.

This time, Ed’s scowl was accompanied by a blossoming flush on his cheeks, and he looked away aggressively before saying:

“I hate askin’ you for anythin ‘cause I know you’ll prob’ly blackmail me or somethin later,” he said, skritching the kitten behind its overlarge ears as he stared at the fire. “But we found this little fucker in a back alley, and she was obviously sick and too young to be alone anyway. We don’t know what happened to her mom,” Edward said, a hint of bitterness flavoring his tone. “Normally I’d just tell Al we have to leave her except she was gonna _die._ ”

Of course Fullmetal hadn’t been able to resist a creature in need — some might say it was his defining characteristic.

The boy blustered on, his distress becoming more and more acute with every hastily added word.

“And we took her to the vet and the vet was closed so we got her number and called her up and she agreed to see the kitten and she told us that she should still be nursing for at least a week — the cat, not the vet — and that she was a girl and that she has a cold that could turn into _pneumonia_ if we’re not careful and anyway she’s gonna need milk and medicine ‘round the clock for like a week and meds twice a day for like three our hotel already threatened to kick us out if we brought her in and we’re not gonna _be here_ for three weeks and Al’s out getting her meds right now from the only pharmacy still open and we can’t keep her but we thought maybe you could.”

He looked up at Roy, a pleading tightness to his eyes despite the flush-and-frown combo.

“And her name is Max, short for MAXIMUM which ya gotta spell in all caps, and she’s really smart and — Al’d be really sad if she died.” The corner of Roy’s mouth twitched up into a smile: it was almost cute how Ed thought he could pretend not to care. He’d always worn his heart on his sleeve, though, for better or for worse. “And you’ve got this big-ass house and you’re in it all by yourself and Al and I could help with the feeding and meds an’ stuff for the first week, since Al doesn’t sleep he’d be fine taking night shift.”

Without responding, Roy watched the kitten attempt and fail to climb Ed’s jacket, after which she sneezed rather loudly for such a tiny thing, and gave a plaintive little mew.

“So I’ll do whatever you want me to if you just — take care of her. Make sure she’s ok.” His tone grew increasingly frantic. “What d’you want from me? Name it, I’ll do it. I swear.”

Roy looked from one of them to the other, sighed loudly, and resigned himself to never being able to refuse the Elric brothers anything.

“Tempting though your offer is,” Roy said, unable to repress a short chuckle, “no need to hand over your firstborn just yet. I’ll take the cat.”

Almost instantly, a change came over Edward that had him looking almostlike a new human; a smile bloomed bright and wide across his face, his eyes widening to match, his lungs drawing in a breath so deep and long that it straightened out Ed’s hunched shoulders, added at least two inches to his frame.

But that smile, though — 

That _smile —_

Like Roy had just solved all the world’s problems at once, like everything was suddenly bright and beautiful; a moment of unrestrained joy, captured on the face of this boy — this _man —_ who had known so little of it.

Mustang could have sworn that his heart stopped for a moment, his words trapped in his throat and thoughts becalmed in the pathways of his brain as he _stared_ at this young, golden god who had seen fit to share his blessings with Roy, for a moment.

Oh, shit.

Oh _god._

And that was the moment Roy Mustang realized he was well and truly fucked.

“Really?! You’ll take her?!” Delight suffused Ed’s entire being so powerfully that Roy caught it too, couldn’t help smiling back. “That’s awesome! Al’ll be so happy. Thanks, Mustang,” he said, standing up with kitten in arms to deposit her on Roy’s lap, where she stared at him warily. “I’m gonna go run, see if I can find him, tell him the good news. Y’know, I take back all the bad things I said about you. Well, most of ‘em,” he added with a cheeky grin before turning back to the door. “We’ll be back before ya know it. You two can have some good bonding time while ya wait!”

And Roy’s front door was open and slammed shut before he could find a word to say in his own defense. Instead, he sighed, and sunk down further in his chair.

He and the kitten examined each other balefully.

“What the hell have I gotten myself into,” he asked, bringing up a hand to pet her downy fluff.

“Mew!” said Max, whose name Roy was finding he might not have the heart to change, but he refused to think of in all caps, despite Ed's insistence to the contrary.

“That’s awfully callous of you,” he said plaintively; she purred, and began to knead Roy’s stomach with her tiny claws before letting out another wide-mouthed mewl.

“I’m only human,” he replied, and stared out the front window into the rain-drenched street, and resigned himself to his tortured fate.

**Author's Note:**

> Short, I know, but there may be more of this tooth-rotting nonsense on a collision course with the internet, so keep your eyes open!
> 
> Also if you enjoyed, please let me know ^^ It really makes my day!


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